In Control of My Days

At the beginning of this week, I made a simple goal for myself: Write for 15 minutes each day. Sounds simple enough. Very doable. But without a designated time slot, it happened a whopping zero times.

Now, as I sit in front of the computer to work on video and photo editing (the things I enjoy the least about computer work,) I find myself thinking I’m “too busy” to take even a handful of minutes to put my thoughts onto the proverbial notepad. Instead of giving in to that thought, and going on with the rest of my schedule, I figure it would be better to open the blank document and dump out a few of those random thoughts.

Ordered Schedule
Have you ever taken a moment to plan out the ideal day, complete with scheduled meal breaks, tasks that must get done, a second list of ‘want-to-get-done’s, and a bit of down time for a cup of your favorite afternoon pick me up and a good read?
I have done this so many times that I’ve lost count. There are notepads (as in those old-school ones with real paper) filled with jotted lists for the next day. I’ve recently switched to using a digital memo app that still allows for the physical checking off of tasks, while not wasting paper.
And, even when I have these fantastic lists bulleted broadly or scheduled down to the minute, I still can’t seem to get it all done. Or I will start well, but never finish those last three things.
Somedays, I even get a bit crabby at all those undone tasks while I tend to the emergency at hand. Kids’ hurts and always-hungry bellies. Dogs escaping or needing one-on-one training. Countless poultry deaths. Flat tire, overheated engine, flooding in the house, pipes backing up. You name it, it unapologetically interrupts my ideal list.

Perfectly Interrupted
But maybe when those interruptions occur, I should not let them hijack my entire schedule. Maybe I rewrite the schedule. Or delete the schedule. At the very least, I should not let the interruptions of the things on my list change my mood. After all, maybe the interruptions are not the things that are random in my day. These unlisted items are what make life, LIFE.
Quite possibly, when I am just moments from starting the blog post and a child needs my full attention, that is the most important task. Or when I am about to open that latest thriller (my new genre of choice!) and a call comes through, I chose to give the person on the other end my full attention.
Maybe these so-called interruptions are not interruptions, rather they are the main focus. (Just as I am writing this a child came in from running around barefoot outside with a splinter in the foot. So a pause and help are in order.)

In Control
If I’ve ever learned anything as a mom it is to be flexible, roll with the punches and know that I am 100% not in control. This is so hard for me, the type-A, structured, highly sensitive, introverted, needing lots of confirmation (& a schedule… see above!), mom. I thrive on order, routine, knowing what is next on the agenda. Yet that is not always the reality.
Farm life, mom life. Being married to an airplane mechanic life. All of this makes for a very FLEXIBLE schedule. And when it drives me the most crazy, I am reminded that I am not, never have been, and never will be in control of my life. There is One who is and who cares more deeply about the order of my days than I ever will.
When I allow God to “take back” the reigns of my day (days, if we are being honest as I tend to plan many in advance,) I no longer stress over the things that don’t get done. I don’t need to worry about the dishes left in the sink, the unpainted and very scratched up door frame in a heavy traffic area. I don’t even need to worry about what to make for dinner (well, ok actually this one I do…)

The point is: God is in control of my days, and while I must be a good steward of all that He has provided, it is still ALL HIS at the end of the day. If I don’t get my whole list accomplished, He can still do mighty miracles in my life and those around me. I get to work alongside God in His Holy plan, but it is never all on my shoulders.

Because He is in control.